When I started this little project, I was utterly and completely honest about the randomness. I used the random movie picker to select random movies from every decade. If I hadn’t heard of the movie, it was on my “to watch” list. Most of the time it was the first movie that came up. So up came the next movie!
Rotten tomatoes gives it a 38%, which is what I saw when picking it. Really most of the movies I picked were rated pretty terribly, so I wasn’t too pumped about it all. Just gotta tell yourself that it’s all in the name of science, right?
This is number 2, and watch watching BloodWhatever 8 last week, I figured that it’s no big deal if I hadn’t seen the first. Boy! You better watch Phantasm I first! At least, it took me a bit to put all of the puzzle pieces together. There are really only four folks you gotta worry about.
Mike, the young adult. I think he was a kid in the first movie? He has magic dreams, and the Tall Man wants him dead.
The Tall Man. Yes, that’s the guy on the right in the picture. He’s pretty tall I guess – I looked him up, the actor Angus Scrimm (Awesome name) is 6’4″. But then again I’m 6’5″ so maybe he ain’t such a tall man after all.
There is Reggie. He’s an uncle or something? He’s this middle aged balding guy who kicks ass and likes to bang younger girls. I don’t remember what his relationship is with BLAH BLAH but he looks like an uncle.
The Girl. I forgot what her name is. She sees magic dreams too, and Mike wants to help her.
The movie is classified as a horror, which…I guess it is? But it is not scary in the least. It’s quite corny. I mean…So, I don’t know if I want to spoil this for you (spoiler, I do want to spoil it) but in the beginning of the film, some literal Jawas attack the heroes.
Either Star Wars ripped off these guys, or the other way around. Those are legit Jawas. Except we find out that they’re actually a bunch of dead people that The Tall Man shrinks down with crystal-ball magic. Who knows? Maybe Jawas are dead shrunken people too. Shifty little buggers.
Anyway, Reggie, the Tall Man and Mike all have some sort of history that I don’t really get cause I didn’t watch the first one, but they wall want each other dead. Plus Mike is hallucinating about some magic girl that he needs to save.
So Reggie and Mike get a bunch of homemade weapons, like flamethrowers, power drills, chainsaws, guns, hammers, etc. and just head off into the wide world to kill The Tall Man somehow.
They go over yonder.
They go thither.
They go to.
They go fro.
They go yonder and thither and to and fro, all together. Turns out Reggie picks up a hitchhiker on the way (CAN’T BE A BAD IDEA REGGIE YOU OLD MAN) because he really wants to bang her.
No, I’m not joking. The lines in the movie surprise me sometimes for having been from the 80s. Mike gives Reggie a hard time about picking up some random chick –
“She needs our help. Besides, have you looked at her? It gets hard out here!”
“You’re thinking with the wrong head!”
Phantasm 2
To be honest, Reggie makes the movie. It doesn’t seem like it, but he’s just this horny old man with corny lines that really pull the movie together. His hitchhiker girl tells him to wake her up when she gets back – “That’d be great” He says with a lecherous old man smile. Most of the movie is actually pretty forgettable. There was a priest in there somewhere, and some more little Jawas. It’s Reggie “Come on, let’s Kick some Ass” Jabronovich (I don’t know his real last name) that makes me want to keep watching. I really don’t give a shit about any of the other characters, especially the Tall Man and his stupid ball, which really only drills a hole in someone’s head? Stupid. They fly around and try to impale a bunch of people.
So Mike and Reggie don’t kick a whole lot of ass, but just enough. There’s a chainsaw duel, even! A few henchmen who aren’t Jawa sized, and some explosions. Just enough variety for even the most demanding palate. I think it hillarious that they usually save their firearms for last – hammers, flamethrowers, drills – all of that is first on their mind when they need to fight.
I won’t spoil the end (REMEMBER THERE ARE 3 MORE MOVIES) but I enjoyed it overall. I don’t think I would have watched it on my own, but I don’t regret it. If I were a betting man, I’d say this movie was a cult classic. Great one liners, cheesy dialogue, boobs, action and gore. Suspenseful music, in a predictable way… wiiiiiiiwidididididid.
My biggest regret is that I watched it alone – I would have loved to watch it with someone else to talk about it, Mystery Science Theater 3000 style.
Brown Tumbleweeds 
Kory–
Your blog cracks me up every time! You are really good at this style of writing! It seems like for the third post in a row you’ve gotten a crappy movie, although I suppose I could see where this one may appeal to a male fan base.
Going by the rubric:
1. Showing vs. Telling:
I don’t see very much showing details in here. I thought where you said “lecherous old man smile” that was good showing. I wonder if you could have added more showing details when describing the different characters, or maybe the weapons?
I think that adding the photographs helps in the showing category, because we can actually see the people that you’re describing.
2. Music:
I like how you add in the onomatopoeia of the suspenseful music. You could probably add more elements from this section in. I feel like this is the hardest section for most of us to do.
3. Narrative:
You added in bits and pieces of narration from the movie that helped us understand important pieces. Your post had a clear beginning, middle, and ending. You showed us the characters, and defined who they are (for the most part).
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